Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize