im having a threesome with these popsicles
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
