Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
