i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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