I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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