If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You smell like stripper and shame
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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