nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
