flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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