he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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