Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
