I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
