so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
