Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
