is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
