My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
