I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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