K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize