Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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