Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
