No, you can still breathe under the balls.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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