There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
