Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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