I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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