it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
