she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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