Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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