the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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