We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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