man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
