her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize