smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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