Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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