Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
