I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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