he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
