u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
