Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
40s are totally the cure
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
