there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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