I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
