He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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