i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
