Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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