He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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