The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
