I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
