two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
