I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
