Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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