i was born a porn star she said
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
