he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
