a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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