Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
