and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
