What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
